Do you struggle with negative and unwanted thoughts?
Do they hold you back in your business?
Developing self-awareness is the first step to great confidence and being strong about who you are in your life and as a business owner.
When we focus attention on ourselves, we compare our current behaviour to our internal values and standards.
As a result we end up evaluating ourselves (usually harshly!) all the time. Our emotions will run up and down and away with us – we feel like we are always waiting on ‘them’ to calm down or ‘feel better’. The thing is, they won’t. They can’t. They are not their own entity.
Often that is the most frustrating part of the whole confidence issue – you KNOW what you should do or feel or that you are hard on yourself but you don’t know WHY right? Or what to do about it?
Get Self-Aware & stop judging
Self-awareness is a form of self-control and understanding and, by developing this, we can learn to evaluate less and be more accepting of ourselves.
AKA Emotional Intelligence. This means having an accurate view and understanding of your skills, abilities, and shortcomings. The key is to monitor our inner world, thoughts and emotions as they arise – but without the judgement.
The non- judgemental element is an essential component and a great starting point for developing self-awareness.
Have you have ever said to yourself “I should/shouldn’t have done this or that”? Then you know what I mean! This is the element that you have to get security in for!
Okay, imagine the scenario – picture the door to your mind – imagine a big, burly security guard standing there protecting your mind and deciding who comes in and out.
The judgement thought turns up. Wants to come in and have a good old moan at you and tell you a few things about yourself.
“What do you want?” the mind guard says –“How are you helpful? You are just intending to cause problems – there is no place for you here – you’re not coming in.”
And off judgement has to go. No entry.
Until the next time as, of course, he still wants to say his piece and judge.
A metaphor, of course, but powerful as it helps you to understand and position that YOU and only YOU are in control of the thoughts that enter and leave your mind.
The first place to start with building this technique is to question the negative thoughts that turn up at the door to your mind. Don’t just let them in to wander around, do what they want and upset all your other confident, positive thoughts!
Put your own mind guard in place to check and monitor the negative thought punters!
If they have no place there and are not suitable, they don’t come in. Simple.
This way you start to really filter these unwanted thoughts out. Sometimes it will be a battle as they will sound very convincing. But your mind security’s word is final. A no is a no.
So how do you then deal with them if they keep coming back?
Once you start to be aware of these thoughts, you can then go on to learn new strategies to dilute, counteract and eliminate them, replacing them with new thoughts you do want! But being conscious of them and questioning them is step 1 and what we are covering here.
To stay with the same metaphor, once you have mastered this with some more practice, you will then raise the bar for your mind and get better thoughts clientele in. This is all part of the confidence and self-awareness programme.
Our minds are incredibly inept at storing information about how we react to a certain situations, it loves to make patterns which then form a blueprint of our emotional life. This ends up conditioning our mind to react in a certain way EVERY TIME as we encounter similar events in the future. Then you start to expect that and sometimes will even avoid certain situations – sound familiar?
Becoming more self-aware will allow you to be conscious of this conditioning this can be the beginning of freeing your mind from it.
In research, a high self-awareness score was the strongest predictor of overall success – for men and women in top careers and leadership roles.
Think about that for a moment – it is massive. Developing your self- awareness will lead to more success in your personal and business life.
Book a FREE 30 minute Self-awareness Session with me to
T 07429 136815